Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: it’s not about fixing you.
Too busy to read or prefer audio? Listen to the audio version of this blog below. Now available on my Spotify Podcast.Good people of “Echi di Ime”, If you have arrived here, lured by my title, expecting solutions to fix you, you will be severely disappointed. There is nothing to fix. Odds are, as Rose et al. found in their study, if you experience imposter syndrome, you are statistically more likely to be overqualified and extremely high achieving. Why, then, do you suffer despite your glowing CV and references?
The reason you may feel impostor syndrome is because the spaces you occupy were never designed to include you. You have likely been implicitly or explicitly told that we do not belong. So today, I want to invite you to reimagine your definition of imposter syndrome by holding a mirror up to your personal and professional environments.
I, too, thought I was an imposter.
Are you a criminal? Then why do you keep labelling yourself as an imposter? The image I have of an imposter is akin to a thief sneaking around in the middle of the night.
S&%t! What have I done now? Is it too late to revoke my application? Maybe I can tell my residency training program director that I’d like to defer my entry into OOPR (out-of-program research). I’m not actually going to Harvard, am I? What am I going to do there?
These thoughts plagued me for weeks after receiving and initially celebrating my double acceptance to Harvard Medical School and Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health for a research fellowship and master’s degree. I’d never been to Harvard, but I knew it was hard to get in and full of bright people, exciting opportunities, and an even more impressive alumni list. And they let me in?
In my case, the imposter syndrome was worsened by the knowledge that my parents, in true African style, had probably told every person on their WhatsApp contact list of my admission. Now the whole of Nigeria knew I was going to Harvard. OMG.
What Imposter Syndrome is Not
Imposter syndrome is not just self-doubt and ‘first’ anxieties. These are normal feelings that we all experience, not infrequently. They are a normal response to encountering a new situation for the first time. The anxiety from such scenarios can provide the healthy stress that encourages us to attack the hill with a good balance of humility and self-belief.
So initial self-doubt and anxieties were not new to me. I experience them frequently. What was new to me was this deeper intellectual questioning of my self-worth. Where had this come from? It didn’t make sense. Why would I have applied in the first place if I really did doubt myself?
What is imposter syndrome really is
Three years ago, I realised the true nature of imposter syndrome – a manifestation of internalised systemic bias and discrimination resulting from living and working in sexist, racist, xenophobic, classist, ableist, and homophobic societies.
The reason you may feel impostor syndrome is because these spaces were never designed to include you. We are implicitly or explicitly told that we do not belong.
Imposter syndrome is many steps beyond normal self-doubt. It is the inability to internalise one’s own successes and achievements instead of labelling external success as luck. Imposter syndrome is that little( loud) voice in your head that says, “You should not be here!” This is fuelled by fear of being discovered to be a fraud. In many ways, it is a tango of intellectual gaslighting that only leads to an erosion of self-worth and suffering.
Until three years ago, I’d been protected from ‘imposter’ syndrome’ thanks to what I fondly call my Nigerian privilege- the benefit of growing up surrounded by multiple examples of realities, including excellence. That and having a pushy mother who was always rhetorically asking whether “Ola has two heads?” to remind you #NaijaNoDeyCarryLast
I think imposter syndrome started to seep in the longer I had been away from Nigeria. The longer I stayed in the UK, still surrounded excellence, but notably fewer examples of excellence that looked like me.
Did you know that imposter syndrome was originally thought only to affect High Achieving women?
Imposter syndrome was first described in a 1970 research study by Drs Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. They defined it as ‘an internal experience of intellectual phonies, which appears to be particularly prevalent and intense among a select sample of high achieving women. Certain early family dynamics and later introjection of societal sex-role stereotyping appear to contribute significantly to the development of the impostor phenomenon. Despite outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the imposter phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.’
This study took a very normal experience of anxiety and self-doubt and pathologised it for women without critiquing the systemic and structural biases in environments that enabled or hindered their progress. This study and the general concept of imposter syndrome is an example of ‘damage-centred’ work- anything that superficially appears to highlight and support the plight of a marginalised group but, in doing so, deems and defines the individuals and that group as deficient or damaged.
Confidence will not fix imposter syndrome, but courage might
In their famous Harvard Business Review article with over 1 million reads, Jodi-Ann Burey and Ruchika Tulshyan assert that the key to overcoming imposter syndrome is to change work cultures, not fixing individuals. The goal of overcoming imposter syndrome lies with people in leadership and privileged positions. The goal is to make workplaces as diverse, inclusive and equitable as possible. Recognise the difference between normal self-doubt and impostor syndrome fuelled by systemic biases. This work requires courage ( a bit of resilience), not confidence. Confidence is the reward you get for being courageous.
MY TOP TIPS FOR OVERCOMING IMPOSTER SYNDROME…
Find your tribe- a safe space to talk about your experience and, most importantly, triggers.Let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism by celebrating your successes and achievementsMentor people who are coming up behind you.Engage meaningfully in initiatives which aim to improve equality, diversity and inclusion in your workplace-but neverat the cost of your wellbeing.Learn how to master self-leadership- which I have written about previously here.Build capacity and exemplify compassionate, inclusive and diverse leadership.Consider accessing career coaching and or therapy.Rest- it is the fuel that keeps us going in. Rest is resistance and a superpower.
Imposter syndrome has a negative impact on all of us, not just those who experience it.
I believe that many companies and institutions are functioning below their potential because exceptional and often overqualified people continue to second guess their abilities whilst working in toxic and non-inclusive cultures. Imposter syndrome negatively impacts productivity, recruitment, and retention of staff. What a waste of talent!
Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion( EDI or DEI) seeks to address this, which is important but insufficient. EDI/DEI initiatives are often top-down with little room for co-production ability to truly hold organisations accountable to their shiny ‘Commitment to Equality” statements visibly plastered all over websites but not replicated in their recruitment, promotion and retention policies and practice.
This approach tends to garner suspicion from minoritised people ( is this another tick box exercise) or resentment from non-minoritised people ( mostly white male, cisgender heterosexual men) who feel like they are being forced to engage in yet another company ‘woke exercise’.
The ultimate result is non-engagement and little or no sustainable change. The cycle of imposter syndrome continues.
Breaking the cycle involves building accountability into whatever EDI/DEI initiatives. Leaders and team members must ask, how will we know we are having a positive impact? How will we measure and share change? How will we invite people in?
Imposter syndrome is exhausting, so rest up before you rise up.
As individuals from minoritised backgrounds, we are socialised as ‘firsts’ and ‘only’- the first Black woman to blah blah, the only woman in a hijab on national TV, the first trans man in government etc. Being socialised as firsts is initially exciting, ego-stoking but eventually exhausting. It is a further reminder that the environments we exist in were not made for us. So existing and thriving requires quite the activation energy that, quite frankly, not all of us possess or desire to expend.
When you walk into rooms with no seats at the table, bring your own chair. As Aishetu Dozie said, once you’re in. that room, you better believe you belong and act accordingly.
My message to you, my reader, this week is that you are enough. In the words of Toni Morrison, “ You are your own best thing”. To the person experiencing imposter syndrome ( to my possible future self), remember it is hard( not impossible) to become what you cannot see. So surround yourself with positive examples of who and what you aspire to become. When invited to the party, sometimes you’ll have to bring your own chair to the table. But when you get to the party, put your best foot forward and remember to hold that door open.
