My name is Isioma, and I am a recovering workaholic. Up until recently, I did not know how to rest. I grew up and am still surrounded by messages about work, productivity, my value, and identity. Hard work was a cornerstone value in my family. Unlike the stereotype of many African parents-I was not pushed to study medicine( business, engineering, or law). But I was forced to be excellent at whatever I chose to do. I wrote about this in 2018 when I explained that “ Naija no dey carry last” and shared my discovery of my Nigerian privilege.

 I have been blessed with the gift of good sleep and the uncanny ability to sleep in the most inconvenient locations. Once my head hits a  pillow, I pass out. I am the champion of post-on-call slumps- straight 24 hours spent in a semi-recumbent state- half asleep, half Netflix-ing. I am privileged to be able to afford travel and now have the ‘correct’ passport for spontaneous, relatively cheap city breaks. I have travelled to multiple countries worldwide and enjoy a good staycation. At work, I make sure I take assigned work breaks.

Rest is crucial. It rejuvenates us. It boosts our bodies, moods, memory and immune system. Rest allows us to keep functioning at our optimal level. Resting gives us the space to reflect and discover our spark- our reason for being or ikigai, which I have previously written about.

I BELIEVE ALL THIS YET, I have often felt guilty about resting. Subconsciously I associated resting with laziness or weakness.

So much so that I would work at only two paces- 100% or 0%, and rest only in response to extreme exhaustion- the 24-hour slump I mentioned earlier.

I now appreciate that rest is both turning off and turning down. But ultimately, it is the absence of distraction.

We live in a world where we are constantly distracted and seeking out distractions- compulsive screening of e-mails between seeing patients, scrolling through social media and reading long WhatsApp threads. I learnt to rest at work and at home by firstly recognising these distractions and re-labelling these as opportunities to pause.

To rest, you must aim to reduce distractions and expend less energy such that you gradually build up your reserves over time.

As I type this, I imagine the cynical eye-rolls of parents and overworked NHS colleagues struggling with childcare, understaffed and already stretched rotas. I have total sympathy for us. Rest can seem out of reach when our A&E departments are packed with patients who have waited for hours, or when your four medical pagers keep going off in a synchronised rhythm of chaos; or your toddler decides that today they must be held and carried 24/7. Our wards could do with extra nurses and midwives, and our doctors continue to be stretched thin with long-term rota gaps. It would be nice to have a peaceful toilet break without a tiny person closely in tow.

When you can barely take your assigned breaks, or have a newborn who is cluster feeding, how on earth can you even dream of resting at work?

But I believe the work never stops, so we must stop. By this, I mean firstly insisting on taking a break; and then intentionally gradually incorporating rest in our lives- at home and at work when we notice a pause. Noticing pauses in our day is a skill that requires continuous practice.

Rest should ideally be proactive and planned, not reactive and random.

Beyond taking a break every few hours, I have learnt to notice pauses in my day. In the few minutes between seeing patients in a clinic or awaiting the next theatre case, or at the end of a ward round, I have learnt to sit still and enjoy guilt-free resting. Sometimes I’ll enjoy a snack, some water; listen to music and a few words from a podcast I’m following whilst waiting. I may spend two minutes on Headspace. I  do not check my inbox for e-mails between patients. I am engaging in less multi-tasking and doom scrolling through the news and social media. I also rest by being present whilst conversing with colleagues during these pauses. I notice people’s faces when I talk with them.

Think back to the last three conversations you had today. You may have sat opposite them and looked at them, but do you recall seeing their faces? You probably were a bit distracted if you didn’t see their faces.

I do frequently fail to notice the pauses and revert back to my old habits. When I catch myself, I laugh at myself. I’m no longer hard on myself for failing to rest. I keep trying, and I am getting better at it gradually. I have noticed a significant increase in my energy levels. I have more capacity for creativity and connection. Resting is truly my secret weapon.

Rest is essential. Rest is the cure for burnout. Rest is self-love. Rest is resistance to the dominant problematic narrative around productivity.

So, in summary, we create space in our lives by intentionally resting over the course of our days, weeks, and months. We can rest during the natural pauses in our day, as well as take regular breaks. Waiting to bulk rest over a month-long holiday in Bali is not sustainable.

The truth is work never stops whether you work as a full-time mum, portfolio manager, charge nurse or junior doctor in the orthopaedic ward. You must notice the natural pauses and then pause.

Your work won’t stop, so you have to stop. Rest up.

In future posts, I look forward to sharing my top tips on how to say “ NO”. Another superpower we must all cultivate in order to rest and find our ikigai.

P.S

As always, if my thoughts this week struck a cord, piqued your interest, or you’d like to explore some of these ideas further or have questions, leave a comment and write to me HERE.